My story so far, part 2

Fast forward one marriage breakup, a new relationship, two house moves and three years later to early 2010. Life is calmer than it was and a visit to a different (newly qualified) GP sparks his interest in why I'm on Yasmin when I've over 35 with high blood pressure and would I like to try the progestogen only mini-pill Cerazette instead? (I'd also been back to GP and off Yasmin for one month in summer 2009 for headaches which didn't go away when I came off)

I thought to myself that this was always going to need checking at some stage so why not now? Yes please, I'll switch to Cerazette. Not immediately but around 2-3 weeks later, back came the hot flushes with a vengeance, and back I went to the surgery to have another FSH blood test done. This time it was 82! So even worse than the 63 back in 2007. This time it dawned on me that there's something very wrong that could be permanently irreversible - and that realisation hit me hard.

I immediately bought myself another private gynaecologist appointment as I wanted answers. She confirmed I was in premature menopause/premature ovarian failure (interchangeable terms it seems - that's another discussion in itself), did an internal exam then asked about children as clearly I would need egg donation, and I could be referred to a clinic who could send me on a fertility tourism "holiday" to get "An Egg". She was obviously trying to help me as quickly and cheaply as possible but to me:

(a) I want further tests to see exactly what is wrong with my body

(b) no-one has looked at possible causes?? ...and

(c) if I wish to have children (this diagnosis is not just about having children!) then I may not necessarily want to "buy" a cheap, unidentified egg off some poor woman in Eastern Europe like I'm buying a pair of shoes???

I was offered and then unoffered an ultrasound, as she realised I had paid for the appointment directly, and didn't have health insurance to cover the cost. She then recommended I stay on Yasmin and not HRT, as that would prepare my body better for future egg donation pregnancy (didn't explain why?), and I was to come back once my partner and I had decided we wished to go ahead with egg donation. Great. So until that time then, it doesn't matter that my body has gone through menopause too early with all the possible long term problems that brings, all the concerns about me staying on Yasmin have gone out the window, and I'll just stay on pause then in the middle of medical nowhereville for an undetermined length of time......