What's my name?

I am very aware that worse things could happen to me than POF, this isn't a serious life or death situation on the surface. However like those who have depression and other mental disorders, this isn't always as easy to deal with as "pull yourself together", in fact the stress involved has been researched to be akin to having a diagnosis of a serious disease. I am grieving my loss of reproductive ability that 99% of women my age still have. It makes absolutely no difference with POF if I want children or not, it's the fact that it's no longer an option open to me in the conventional way. Having an ovulation process that works is part of the essence of being a young female and without it, I often feel that I've totally failed at being female.

Of course, that's not how those of us with this should think about it, but we do partly because of the name: Premature Ovarian Failure. To this end, it's been mooted to replace the name Premature Ovarian Failure with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency to remove the "failing" element because we haven't failed but our ovaries have. There's much more to me and my life than a pair of ovaries I would hope! Premature Menopause also has negative connotations as "menopause" is a word that shouldn't be in our vocabulary until our late 40s at the earliest. And yes I have days where I also think it is POF or menopause, just get over it, but it's such a final sounding name that gives no hope, when in fact for some of us lucky enough, total ovarian failure isn't always the case. And whats more, being female is not about ovaries or mammary glands, that's simply the biological aspect. I reserve the right to throw a girly hissy fit, wear makeup and dresses (well, sometimes), mother those around me whether they want it or not and dance around my handbag if I want to!