Feeling hot, hot, hot flushes

Thinking about all of this, I think for me the one symptom that sums up POF and encapsulates its emotional and physical impact is the dreaded hot flush (known as hot flash in the US). Hot flushes are so synonymous with ladies in their late 40s/early 50s, and as you look around an average office, the fans and windows open are generally near these ladies (I say this with my fan on!). So when anyone mentions that I've got a fan on and they say "hot flush?" jokingly, I say yes and then explain it to them as those of us with POF aren't a common breed!

Any woman with hot flushes knows how wretched they make you feel, robbing you of sleep overnight in the form of night sweats, and very draining in general. I'm not belittling the experience of menopause for women of any age but when I had my first dose of hot flushes aged 33, I felt like a hot, sweaty, dried up old woman, like a fruit that's been left on the shelf too long, all wizened and no longer pleasing to look at either. Grey hair was also proliferating at my roots and I remember staring at the bathroom mirror one day seeing a much older me 15-20 years early - in floods of hot tears.

Since I've come off Yasmin the flushes are back with a vengeance and I realise that I judge my oestrogen levels within myself by this one symptom. I did start taking black cohosh this week but I'm already off it as recent research says that it only works as a placebo. I'm drinking soya milk again as there is conflicting evidence that soya can help, I've also started deep abdominal breathing as that cuts them down by 50%, and I've happily discovered I can make them end more quickly and reduce their effects by deep breathing when I feel one coming on.  I'm also going to start swimming again as that's the one exercise where I'm always in a cool environment.

The one thing I've noticed this time that I didn't before though is how I can bring one on with emotions, literally making me "hotheaded" i.e. if I'm angry or sad or happy or just generally expressing a strong emotional reaction to something. I think this in itself adds to the argument that stress can cause this, as emotions and stress have always had a physical effect on me. Conversely, a hot flush can also upset and frustrate me, reminding me in those few minutes once an hour or so that my body's not functioning properly.